| Please don#t let this be true |
[16 Apr 2007|01:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
I'm crushing hard.
and i don't want to,cause everyone knows where this is going to lead.
31 and 20,11 years of age difference,but damn he's fine.
:(
argh
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| have i ever told you,you mean the world to me?! |
[08 Apr 2007|02:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
so wtf has been going down with me?
I got over the fob incident haha.
my life has still it's ups and downs.
boys suck but what can you do,you love them no matter what.
i'm still hanging at the bar/club every tuesday and it's always the same.
i went to see one of my friends in the hospital today he's weak and i didn't like it.
easter is over and i got nothing:(
the used in june.
alcohol runs still in my blood.
my life's passing by and i don't know how to handle it.
i had a craving for beer earlier.
i want beeeeerrrrrr.
i like beer alot it gets me drunk FAST.
i love it.
i love being drunk i love dancing i love splashing water in kims face and she spalishing water in my face.
i like talking with her for hours straight.
i love seeing my cousin at night.
i love my cousin.
i love how my sister is pregnant.
i hate the feeling in my stomache it makes me want to vomit the shit out of myself.
it's like butterflies on crack.
i had a craving for a joint a few days ago.
i'm glad i've never done it.
i hate how i cant sleep today because of my weak body.
i love tomorrow.
i really really like my friends.
and i love Tina and Kim.
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| if you wanna be down you gotta get on the ground cocain. |
[24 Mar 2007|02:09pm] |
|
is it wrong that after laying in your own vomit and missing the fall out boy concert to feel physiclly good?
I wish I'd never started drinking.
I love FOB and I missed them.
I'm such an asshole.
:(
someone bring me back to reality.
or better yet,hit me with a baseball bat.
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|
| i wish i could explain myself |
[05 Feb 2007|02:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
i had a good conversation with my head last night.
I know that I am not the most beautiful person in the world.
i don't have the perfect body,I do not have the perfect face/teeth/ears/skin
I do not have the perfect feet or hands.
and I know for a fact that i am not the type of woman a men would go for.
but what i do know is that i have a good heart.
i'm genuine and honest.
and i know that i love more then anyone could love me.
and i believe that there is the perfect someone for everybody,call it your soul-mate if you will.
even if you get married and the men you marry is not your soul-mate one day you will find him and even tho you love your husband you will find true love in that person you will find.
and i think that person is worth the wait.
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|
| I really don't know what I'ma gonna do. |
[28 Jan 2007|11:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
So what happened is this friday,one of my good friends comes into the club with the guy i had it going on for awhile,the one who out of fucking nowhere said he doesnt want me anymore,the one i came back from canada for....the bigest asshole this town has.....they sit together and i start crying in my alcohollism,i go to my friend who works at the bar and talk to her about it...she sees it and freaks out too.i wanted to give them one last look and what do they do,they fucking kiss infront of my eyes....WHAT THE FUCKING HELL??!!?!?befor that she come sup to me and sais"he's just a good friend,jsut like you and sascha are(shes in love with sascha and he's one of my good guy friends)"and yeah that nwas befor the kiss and then i see them kissing and i had a breakdown.
Now she apologizes all the time,crys and what not.I really don't know what to do anymore.....cause i always said im never gonna fight with my girls over a guy,but this girl is so naiv i told her thta heÄ's an ashole and that he broke my heart etc.I just can't believe someone would do something like that.
argh
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| so you wait till you disapier |
[02 Jan 2007|05:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
someone with proper english correct my subject cuz i fail in english.
Anway my life had SO so many ups and downs since i've came back from canada,it's weird.
I've been drinking this whole month nearly everyday.
I think my liver will die on me soon,haha.
I can't seem to find someone cute for me.
My guy frend is comming to pick me up today so we can go drinking,but us two alone....hahaha who knows what'll happened he's cute.
But seriously i've come to realize that I deserve so much better then the guys in the club i go to.
New years sucked ass.
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| nervous breakdowns is what i aim for |
[14 Sep 2006|10:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
I think I've never missed my dad as much as I do now.
I'm leaving for a year and didn't say good bye to him.
I want to hug him and tell him I love you.
But I can't...he's in greece.
it's not the same to tell your father you love him through the phone.
I'm scared.
I'm so so scared.
I just can't do it through the god damn phone.
I'll miss him so fucking much you don't even understand.
My dad did everything for me.
God,i'm so scared.
I love him,I really do.
I love everyone.
FUCK!
This is going to be the best and worst year of my life.
Best because I'll see everyone I've wanted to and I'l have seriously the best time of my life.
Worst because I will miss my family so much that i'll cry myself every night to sleep.
Hahaha.
You guys will have to take my hand and lead me through this year.
No.
ARGH!
|
|
| Like my good friend Benjo said.. |
[07 Sep 2006|03:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
cobra starship-snakes on a plane |
] |
It's a sad realization,that all guys are pretty much losers.
Thank you very much,asshole.
I'm looking forward to meet you guys.
30 Unknown Facts/Secrets About Yourself:
[What does your MySpace headline mean?]
That I have more fun when I drink and in the end I just want to puke,because I relize that it wasnt worth it.
[Elaborate on your default photo]
Me sitting on a bench in my bros room.
[What's your middle name?]
Eleni
[What is your current relationship status?]
Single
[What are you wearing right now?]
Black pants,white muscle shirt,orange flip flops.
[What is your current problem?]
trust,faith,destiny,myself,home.
[What do you love most?]
a few people,my dog.
[Who makes you most happy?]
My family,my dog,kids,animals in general..
[Are you musically talented?]
I doubt it
[If you could go back in time, and change one thing, what would you change]
One thing I said once to Tina,the millions of times I yelled at my parents,&doing all the mistakes I did before over and over again.
[If you MUST be an animal for ONE day-what would you be?why?]
A Lion....so much power.
[Ever have a near death experience?]
a near.
[Can you dance?]
not at all,but i drop it like it's a mashed potatoe so yeah.
[What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?]
makedamnsure-TBS,cobra starship-snakes on a plane
[Who did you cut and paste this from?]
Kris
[Name someone with the same birthday as you]
Notorious BIG
[Have you ever destroyed someone's property?]
Nooo,may be when I was young and rebelious.
[Have you ever been in a fight?]
a fist fight?no.....
[Have you ever sang in front of a big audience?]
not by myself no
[What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?]
their smile.
[What do you usually order from Starbucks?]
anything with caramel
[Do you have a crush on one of your MySpace friends?]
Not really,guys suck.
[Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?]
Hahaha no,but i definatly want to.
[Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?]
yes.
[Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?]
fuck yes.
[Did you have braces?]
nope
[Are you comfortable with your height?]
not really.
[What is the sweetest thing someones ever done for you?]
it's the little things that count...but to be honest I don't remember them.
[Do you speak any other languages?]
I speak three languages. :)
[Whats your favorite smell?]
Beer and cigarettes,on boys&when i'm drunk.
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| sometimes life is all you have |
[30 Aug 2006|03:43am] |
|
I havn't felt this upset/happy/sad/helpless ever.
this is like it,this comes all together at one time.I'm done,i'm seriously comepletly done.
I'm ready for love&this time I mean it.I mean it with everything I have.I'm ready to be loved.
I need this more than I ever did befor...and I don't think anyone in this world can love as much as I do.
Atleast not love me as much as I could love somebody.
and ths scares me.
I love so hard I can easily be hurt.
This is it.
I want to feel.
<3
|
|
| dfjhfjdldfj |
[21 Aug 2006|12:42pm] |
|
I'm back in Berlin!
It was a good & bad summer.
I've really missed my Kim,now I'm happy I have her back and I really missed all of you!
I'll upload pictures later today...:D
<333
|
|
| is swear to god this is my last shot |
[15 Jun 2006|12:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
I'm sorry if I sadened anyone with my stupid post,I truly am.
This will be my last post for being so unsadisfied with myself,wait for the post where I tell you how I feel alive again.
I hope it'll come soon.
I love you.
|
|
| please |
[14 Jun 2006|01:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
God,please let me get through this.this is the only thing i beg you for.
let me get through this,i wont ever ask for anything.
i havnt felt like this ever,i want to get out,please someone save me.
take me away somewhere.
i can't take myself anymore,i need you more then i've ever needed anyone.
everything inside of me is breaking apart.
i cant take myself like this.
god please,i'll never ask for anything.
i'm fucked up.
more then i've ever been.
i cry.
and yes i feel sad.
you dont even know.
|
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| this is the last call. |
[13 Jun 2006|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 distressed |
] |
This is the worst i've ever felt.
I'm such a god damn fucking mess,it's not funny anymore.
I have a low temper.
Alcohol has become my best friend.
I'm loosing my home,soon enough I'll be a no one in a whole different city.
I'm already a nobody,but I'll be a nobody with faces i've never seen before.
People can thank god,I didn't punch any of these emo girls in the fucking face yesterday.
fucking jokes.
billy talent is the worst lvie act ever,worst canadian band I've ever seen.
fucking waste of time,i'm dissapointed cause they seem like nice guys.
but fuck did they suck?!fuck yes.
thank god i didn't fucking pay for that crap.
My exams are going pretty fucking good.
i'm stoked.
I want to leave,finally.
this summer is going to be insane,someone tell me to keep my hands off of the alcohol.
seriously now,this has gone WAY to fucking far.
drinking s my excuse for being open.
drinking is my excuse for acting like a maniac.
drinking is my excuse for everything.
especially my low temper.
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